Guide

How to vet someone before a first date

Checking someone out before meeting them is not paranoid. You research a restaurant before booking a table; researching the person across the table is at least as reasonable. Twenty minutes of checking catches the majority of misrepresentation, and the goal is simple: confirm they are who they say they are, and that nothing public contradicts their story.

Confirm the basics

Get a full first and last name before you meet. If someone will not share their last name after matching and chatting, treat that as unresolved, not disqualifying, but do not meet anywhere private until it is resolved. With a name plus one more detail (city, job, school) you can verify most of what follows.

Reverse-search their photos

Save a profile photo and run it through Google reverse image search or TinEye. You are looking for the same photo attached to a different name, a stock image, or a model's portfolio. This is the single fastest catfish check that exists.

Cross-check their profiles

Find them on at least one platform beyond the dating app. The details do not need to be extensive, but they should be consistent: same name, same face, a job and city that match what they told you, and an account history that looks lived-in rather than created last month. A person with zero footprint is not automatically hiding something, but combined with other oddities it raises the bar for meeting safely.

Check public records

Run their name through the free national sex offender search at NSOPW.gov, and through the court case portal for your state and any state they recently lived in. Civil records count too: restraining orders are civil filings. Our guide on checking criminal records walks through this step by step.

Red flags that matter

• They refuse a short video call before meeting. One minute of video resolves most identity doubt; a persistent refusal is the classic catfish tell.
• Their story shifts: the job, the city, or the age changes between conversations.
• They push for a private first meeting (their place, yours, a hike) instead of a public one.
• They ask for money, crypto "investment help," or gift cards at any point. This is a scam script, every time.
• Intense flattery and pressure to move fast, especially moving the chat off the app quickly.

On the day

• Meet in a public place and arrange your own transportation.
• Tell a friend who you are meeting, where, and when, and share your live location.
• If something feels off in person, leave. You owe a stranger nothing beyond basic courtesy.

If you want the checking done for you, A Little Birdie takes a name and whatever details you have, searches 40+ sources including courts, social media, and news, and tells you in plain English what matches the person and what does not.